September 11th

I've been batting this around. First I was going to post, then I wasn't, but I feel that I have to.

Let me start off by saying, I am an ordinary person, with no claims of being an expert or authority on any politics, spin, theories, or anything else surrounding that day. This is a purely emotional post, just my feelings and that's all. I accept any criticism that may go with this.

As a young girl I was instilled by my mother to have a love of the arts. Music, theater, movies, you name it. As that young girl, my mother would play soundtracts from "They're Playing Our Song", "Godspell", and "A Chorus Line", to just name a few. At the tender age of 9 my parents took me to New York City for the first time. I saw "Annie" during that trip. Sat in the front row orchestra, right behind the conductor. At that age, I fell in love, with the City, with musical theater, with all the great landmarks that made New York what it's famous for.
I had never seen a set of buildings as tall as the World Trade Center. As you looked up to the buildings, you realized how small you really were, and that there was so much wonder in that steel and glass structure. Although our trip did not end well (all our belongings got stolen out of our car while we toured the Statue of Liberty), I never let that tarnish all the enjoyment I had from that trip.
As I got older, my love for theater got stronger. When I entered college, I got to go back to New York, my Freshman year. Smack in the middle of "The Village". I loved being back and walking the streets. We saw an Off- Broadway show later that day, and I was really sad when we had to leave.
Since I only lived a little over an hour from NYC, I started taking road trips with my friends frequently. See New York had become like a second home for me. I knew the streets like the back of my hand, from downtown to the top of mid-town. My love for the "City that Never Sleeps" and grown by leaps and bounds, and always in the background, those magnificent Towers.
There is no "wrong time" to visit NYC. Every season has something wonderful about it when you're there. I've been there in the Spring when everything is starting new and fresh- Central Park is bustling with excitement. In the Summer, when the streets are filled with tourists, taking in the wonder of the city for the first time, and fireworks fill the air. Sitting and eating outside at Rockefeller Center. In the Fall, when the leaves change and you know the Thanksgiving Parade is just around the corner. Then there's the Winter- by far the best time to go there. I don't like the cold, but, there is nothing like New York at Christmas time. The tree, the store windows filled with wonderful animated displays, cuddling in a horse drawn carriage with loved ones. Then there is New Years Eve. Every single person in their lifetime should experience it first hand for themselves. Seeing it on TV does not do it justice. I've done it twice now and can't wait to take my daughter when she's old enough.
What I'm trying to say is that When 9/11 happened, I lost part of myself. My heart shattered into pieces. Here was the city that I embraced as my own, now in desperate need of help from all of us. It killed me to know that so many people lost their lives that day. So many families were ripped apart in one single second.
I knew I had to do something. 5 days after the attacks occured, my mother and I made the Pilgrimage to NYC. We were now living outside of Boston so the trip was significantly longer, but we had to be there. Since most of the streets in lower Manhattan were not accessible by car, we walked from mid-town down to the Towers.
Something struck me that day that again changed my life forever. From mid-town to down town, every empty storefront, every phone pole, nearly every window was wallpapered with "missing" signs. Part of me died that day. The absolute reality was staring me in the face- these were the faces that would never come home again. I grieved for the families again. As we continued to walk toward the Towers a few other things remain in my memory. The silence as you moved away from mid-town was deafening. I had never know this city to be silent, but as we approached "The Village", there was almost no sound- everything was still. We also noticed a change in the air. You could now smell the smoke, smell the burning- this is also something you don't forget.
When we reached the site, I was awestruck. Those wonderful buildings that I had admired so many times were now a pile of rubble, smoke still coming from them. We had arrived just as a shift change was occurring with the FDNY. All those around us applauded the exiting firefighters, we knew they too had lost so much. All I wanted to do was comfort these men that I didn't even know. Their faces were worn and tired, I can never imagine the heartbreak they were experiencing.
These images among others from that day have stayed with me for these 5 years. Every year I have trouble watching the images on the TV on 9/11. All those images come back and my heart breaks all over, for the families, for the friends, for the city. I do not forget, however. I have 2 pictures hanging in my hall of the Towers and am reminded everyday of what was lost.
I returned to NYC the following April with my husband, for our Anniversary. Going to the former site of the Towers was emotional in a different way for him. You see, he had worked for a company that had sent him to NYC for business. He had previously stayed at the Marriott at The World Trade Center. He pointed out to me that he had eaten at the McDonalds there, and everything was either damaged or destroyed now.
I have gone back a couple of times since the attacks, each time visiting the sight of the tragedy. We as a nation must remember those days following the attack, we were a little nicer to each other, a little more patient. Now we go at each others throats. Have we not learned anything from that day? Have we forgotten that we all come into this world the same way, walk the earth with two feet like everyone else? We need to stop hating each other in the name of politics, religion, or race. This never solves anything, it just gets more people killed.

Hug your loved ones a little tighter every day, and be blessed that you still have each other.

Tonight a child in falling asleep in New York without a daddy or mommy to kiss goodnight. Think of that child everytime someone angers you for something stupid, and you'll realize the anger is not worth it.